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    December 23

    句点在哪儿

    我在等手机铃响
    可惜屏幕没有亮过
    原来任何事情都可以这么突然
    手脚冰凉
    麻木的指尖
    触不到的冰冷一点一点的侵蚀心房的温度
    不想去温暖它
    放任无知觉的冰冷
    就要这种感觉
    凉透了不觉得冷了
    喝醉了回家
    比上一次的醉酒多了呕吐
    醉了倒在床上是在坐旋转木马的眩晕
    对着马桶的呕吐是敞开心的方式
    吐出的是心中所有烦心的事物
    恨不得吐空所有
    看到镜中模糊的人脸发紫的嘴唇
    突然觉得她像极了木偶
    有作画的冲动
    画毕
    才发现只有炭黑蔓延纸上
    突然想起来进门的景象
    疯狂的敲门
    熟睡的中年男人起身开门
    转身对好友说路上小心
    男人没有一句话
    直直的冲向厕所
    又是一阵呕吐黄色物体倾泻水中
    蜷缩在一边把头埋在双膝
    最安静的姿势
    平静了下来
    我不记得吃过酸涩的东西
    可是明明有一种苦涩翻涌在舌尖
    接了杯水不停地刷牙
    我不喜欢这种味道不停地刺激味蕾
    人们都睡了
    没有一点声音
    脱了衣服把冰箱里的冻酸奶拿到客厅
    没有开灯 没带眼镜
    找到的勺子不是吃冻酸奶的勺子
    因为它无法打破那层厚重
    只好搁置在那儿
    倒了杯雪碧
    回了卧室
    冰凉带气的溶液刺激着蠕动的胃
    整个人平静下来
    只有眼角的泪水又开始了它的活动
    习惯性右侧
    耳膜阵痛
    这一痛便成了无休止
    左心室剧烈的抽搐
    我知道还需要一杯雪碧
    起身在客厅呆坐了半天
    等酸奶融化
     
    不知道起了几次夜
    只记得辗转、起身、回到床上接着辗转、再起身
    天亮了
    姐姐在化妆
    直到一个一个甩门出去
    安静了
    睡了
     
    第二次
     
     
     

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    婷 韩wrote:
    不知道他看到会不会痛,
    但是我会痛。
    Dec. 26

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